FOR MEN: How to out-play a “player”

FOR MEN: How to out-play a “player”. For us men, it’s safe to say we’ve all been there. You’ve been talking to a cute girl at the bar for a good hour, bought her a couple of drinks, and have a really good rhythm going, when a “player” comes along and takes her attention and ultimately lands her. It’s not a good feeling. In fact, it’s one of the worst feelings out there. Because when it comes to the dating game, the old saying is true: “all’s fair in love and war”. So how do you out-play a “player”, and land the woman of your dreams? Read on.

When it comes to “players”, I’ve found that a lot of them have read up big on how to “play the game”. They’ve studied things like “the art of picking up”, “how to smooth talk women”, and so on. They’ve worked hard on their “game” so they can be the guy who walks into the bar and is immediately identified as the “player”. They can be tough to out-play, for sure. In fact, some “players” are so good at what they do that it can be nigh on impossible to attract female attention on a night out if there’s a good “player” in the room. But there is a way to out-play them. It comes down to, yes, that magic word… being cool.

Yes, dear readers, being cool is the single biggest weapon you have in your personality arsenal when it comes to defeating the “player” and regaining the attention of the lovely female that you so richly deserve to be talking to and getting to know. (And who knows, perhaps even dating one day.)

By being cool, you will outlast the “player”, who, despite their talent, only has a limited knowledge of what it truly takes to be cool. And when it comes down to it, being cool beats being a “player” every day of the week. Trust me on this one. So when you’re playing a game of pool against a “player”, and he’s chatting up the woman in between shots, just be cool. Focus on the game of pool and nothing else until the game is over. That’s what being cool is all about.

And how else does one be cool? Well to answer that, dear readers, I will link you to two previous blog posts I wrote about being cool: How to be cool and How to be cool: Part 2.

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

The importance of goal setting

The importance of goal setting. To be successful in life, it’s important to set goals. Goals help your mind and body stay active and sharp, which is vital for good health, a happy work/life balance, and success in your endeavours. By setting goals, you give yourself more reasons to get up in the morning and make the most of each day. And this, dear readers, is one of the keys of being highly successful in life.

Short-term goals are important. These could be things like losing 2kg in the next two weeks, or reading a short novel in the same time period. The first goals is obviously a physical one which improves your body’s health, while the second goals is a mental one, which keeps your brain active and alert. These two short term goals are just two examples of things you could try challenging yourself to do right now. So go on, pick a couple of short-term goals, and see if you can achieve them in two weeks.

Mid-term goals are things more like being able to complete a “medium” difficulty level Sudoku puzzle in the next 6 months, compared to not being able to complete an “easy” Sudoku puzzle right now. Or, it could be something like being able to run 10 laps around your block without stopping, thereby increasing your overall fitness level. Mid-term goals are good because they give you something to aim at in the future, but they aren’t so far away that you’re tempted to put them off forever. So, set a few mid-term goals, and work towards them bit by bit every day until they’re accomplished.

Finally, long-term goals. Long-term goals are things like having a family one day, or eventually owning your own business. These goals require more effort, dedication, and drive to make a reality, so don’t stress too much about them right now. You may find that your long-term goal of having a family will one day just happen without you even really thinking about it. (You might meet the love of your life at age 32 and all of a sudden have two kids by the time you’re 34. You never know.)

So when it comes to long-term goals, I think the best thing to do is to set them in the back of your mind, and keep busy with short-term and mid-term goals for the time being, and your long-term goals will pretty much take care of themselves.

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

Challenge yourself

Challenge yourself. To be the best you can be – at work, in your relationships, or at your personal hobbies – you have to always challenge yourself. You have to always strive to reach new heights, to develop better skills, and to improve your knowledge about whatever it is you want to be the best at.

The ability of humans to learn and discover new things is unlimited. Society itself is the result of people constantly challenging themselves, innovating, and coming up with new, better, faster, and more convenient ways of doing things.

Take Apple for example. Who would have thought, 100 years ago, that there would be such a device as an iPhone that could do everything it does? A camera, phone, organiser, and gaming device all in one? And this is just one example of human ingenuity coming up with something that makes life easier and more convenient. And it only came about because the people at Apple challenged themselves to come up with best phone they could.

And so the same logic applies to anyone who wants to be the best in their particular field. If you want to get to the top, you have to not only beat your rivals, but you have to beat yourself all the time. Every day you have to think, “I’m going to challenge my yesterday self and be better than that person”. This way, each day you will only get better, faster, stronger, more knowledgeable, and ultimately become the best at your endeavours.

So remember these words of wisdom: “challenge yourself, and the world will be your oyster!”

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

The power of positive thinking

The power of positive thinking. I’m sure a lot of you have heard this phrase before. It seems to have been everywhere over the past few years – on the internet, in self-help books, in motivational videos, in the news, and more. But what exactly does it mean?

Well, I asked the same question a few years ago when I first started to look into just what “positive thinking” means. And I read a lot of internet articles, and read some self-help books, and even talked to some of my friends who also found themselves wondering, “just what is the power of positive thinking?”

And I’m here to tell you today that I think “positive thinking” can be summed up in a single sentence:

“The more positive your thoughts are, the more positive things happen in your real life.”

Sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? The more positive you think, the more positive you live. So how do you “make it work” for you in your own life? That, I have to say, varies from individual to individual. Depending on the work you do and the social life you have, your day-to-day routine will differ from the next person’s. So really, the one underlying factor you have to take into account is to think positively about whatever it is you’re doing.

If you’re going out to dinner with friends, think beforehand about how great the food will be, how good the company will be, and how enjoyable the atmosphere will be. And I guarantee that you will have a great night out. If you’re going to work in the morning, think to yourself that “today is going to be a good day at work”. And you’ll find that with this positive mode of thinking, that your work day feels better than usual.

So think positive, and live positive.

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

How to relax more

How to relax more. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all relax more? If we all had more time to chill out, do fun things, and not worry about the weight of the world? I know for sure that I used to want to be able to relax more, and I’ve got to tell you, I never used to be very relaxed at all.

I used to be wound up a lot of the time, stressed out at work, worried about things like credit card repayments and phone bills, getting my car serviced, and other such hassles of everyday life.

But then I came across something very important. Something so profound that it helped change my entire life and allowed me to relax and start to enjoy life. Yes, people, the thing I discovered was the future.

Yes, the future. By realising that no matter how many problems there were in my life, that the sun was always going to come up tomorrow, it allowed me to “let go” of my worries and relax. Because there’s always a new day to start things anew, to make things right, to refresh yourself, and deal with all those problems you thought you had to deal with right now.

By thinking of the future, I started to think “hey, tomorrow I can organise to pay my phone bill at a later date”, or, “I can just catch the bus to work tomorrow instead of driving my car, because it needs servicing next week”. So in essence, I discovered that there’s always time to deal with the mundane, rotten side of life – bills, housework, car services, and so on – and so in the meantime, the best thing to do is just relax and enjoy life.

Because lets face it, no one likes paying bills or having to get their car serviced. So why worry about it now? Set those things for a later date and let yourself chill out and be happy now!

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

More tips for dating

More tips for dating. I had some good response to my previous post about dating, so I thought I would write some more tips about dating, gained both from my own personal experience, from books I’ve read, and videos I’ve watched from successful daters.

When it comes to dating, one of the most important things is simply comfort. How comfortable do you want to be on the date? If you’re like most people, you want to be totally comfortable. Because, obviously, the more comfortable you are on a date, the more comfortable your partner will be, and the more relaxed and better the date will go. And that’s what everyone wants!

So how do you go about making sure that your dating experience is as close to comfortable as can be? Well, there are a few main things to consider. First, the location of the date. Choose somewhere familiar for a first date. Somewhere that you know serves good food, has good service, and has a pleasant vibe.

Second, the timing of the date. Choose a time that makes it easy for both you and your partner to get to the date without having to rush after prior commitments. (Weekend dates are good, because a lot of people can re-shuffle their weekend obligations and duties, whereas during the working week it can be harder to do so.)

Third, consider the entire atmosphere of the date. A ten-pin bowling date with a group of friends is going to be very different from a candle-lit dinner for two. So depending on what you and your partner want, the atmosphere will vary. For example, a Friday night dinner at an upmarket restaurant leaves room open for intimate conversation between you and your partner, whereas a Sunday afternoon spent at the bowling alley with friends is really all about just having fun and enjoying the weekend!

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

How to be more efficient

How to be more efficient. It’s no secret that many highly successful, powerful people in the world are also very efficient. They make the most of their time every single day, week, month, and year. They recognise the importance of using their time wisely, so they automatically have learned how to live, work, and function more efficiently in lots of parts of their lives.

Living efficiently is not just about finding quicker ways to do things. If you take too many shortcuts in life, you’ll end up nowhere. You still have to dedicate time and effort to endeavours, projects, and goals if you want them to come to fruition. But there is a balance. And this is what being efficient is all about.

Let’s say you’ve got a big project due at your workplace, and it’s taking up more time than you’d like. You’re not only spending 8 hours a day at the office working on it, but you’re also taking the work home. And taking it home is eating into your leisure time, your family time, your “kick back and relax” time. This, dear reader, is inefficient. And you’re the person losing out on valuable “you time”. (Trust me, your boss doesn’t care that you’re taking the work home.) So how do you become more efficient with your workload? Simple. Leave work at work. It’s that easy. Resist the temptation to do things in your own time, and say to yourself, “I will only do work at work.” This way, you will naturally become better at your job in your dedicated working hours, becoming more efficient at your job as a result.

Being efficient in your personal life has its benefits, too. As a simple example, when you go shopping for groceries, take a list of what you need, and only buy those things. Don’t spend all day wandering up and down each aisle wasting time. You’ll only end up buying things you don’t really need, and you would have wasted time doing so. By taking the time to be more efficient, you’ll save time in the long run.

Finally, when it comes to your leisure time, I find it’s best to not worry so much about being efficient. If you’re throwing a party, buy more food and drinks than you think you’ll need. (Good parties always seem to run out of food and drinks, trust me.) Splurge in your free time, but when it comes to work and other life duties, work on being more efficient. It’s worth it.

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

How to increase your motivation

How to increase your motivation. The most successful people I’ve met in life are the ones who are motivated. That is to say, they have the energy, drive, and ambition to get up every day to work hard in all areas of their life to become the best. They have the motivation to keep on going where others would give up. And I have to say, I used to lack motivation – in a lot of areas of my life. It wasn’t until I read some books, internet websites, and watched some videos by highly motivated people that I began to understand what it takes to get motivated. And I’m going to share what I learned with you right now.

Motivated people have one big thing in common. One thing that separates them from the rest of the pack. It’s what the tennis player Roger Federer has, what Facebook founder Mark Zuckerburg has, what the President of the United States of America, Barack Obama, has. And that is passion.

Yes, passion. The most important thing to have to get motivated is passion. You need to be passionate about life, about your work, about your reputation, about everything you want to excel at and succeed at. And how does one get passionate about something? Well, that differs from person to person, but it involves time and effort. You have to put the time and effort into something to increase your motivation. Roger Federer has passion for tennis, so he puts a lot of time and effort into his game. Mark Zuckerburg is passionate about Facebook and social media, so he (and his team) put a lot of time and effort into their website. President Obama is passionate about the USA, so he puts a lot of time and effort into his job. And this is why these three men, as examples, are highly motivated people. Passion leads to motivation.

So if you want to increase your motivation, get passionate. You’ll become more successful in your life, and people will begin to not only look up to you as a shining example, but they will probably start coming to you for life advice because they, too, want to become highly motivated and successful people.

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

How to simplify your life

How to simplify your life. Wouldn’t it be great if our lives were simpler? If we all had less work to do, more free time, and more time to do the things we enjoy doing? This sounds good to me. And I’ve got to tell you, my life used to be a lot more complicated than I would have liked. I used to have a lot of things going on in my life that took up all my energy, and it got to the point where I had to step back and research ways of simplifying my own life so I could start enjoying life more.

One of the most important things I discovered when it comes to simplifying your life is the idea of eliminating that which is least helpful to moving you forward in life. That is to say, if you feel like something’s a waste of time, then it almost certainly is. To live an amazing life, you can’t afford to sit around wasting time. To make the most of each day, you don’t want to be doing things which aren’t helping you reach your own goals. So work on ways of cutting out the things in your life that aren’t helping, and you’ll simplify your life and have more free time.

Another good thing to do is to work on doing fun things as often as possible. By centreing your life around having fun, you’ll automatically start to cut out dull, boring, complicated things, and you’ll have a freeer, more simple, more fun life. Some people may say this is a foolish way to live, but I’ve found you can balance out the fun with things like work and social responsibilities. Just make sure that you have fun as your main goal, and all of the frustrating, annoying, complicated things in your life will soon disappear, leaving you happier and more satisifed with life!

So really, to simplify your life, work out a list of what is most fun for you, then always aim to do those things as often as possible. Inversely, work on a list of things you don’t like doing, and aim to reduce those things as much as possible. Trust me, the results are worth it!

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley

How to be happy

How to be happy. Everyone wants to be happy. To have a life free of drama, problems, and stress. Happiness. We all deserve to be happy. In this post I’m going to share a few tips on how you can be happier in your life.

First of all, take a few deep breaths first thing in the morning before you get out of bed. Think to yourself that “today is going to be a good day”. Smile. Know that each day can be wonderful if you choose to make it so.

Second, try and get a routine going in your life. A healthier diet, a light run around the block every day, or a regular “movie night” or something fun like that will help you relax and be happier in life.

Third, learn to let the little things go. Life is conplicated enough with big things. So if something small is bothering you, just let it go. You will find that you’re happer and calmer as a result.

Fourth, just feel happy. The happier you let yourself feel, the happier you will be. It’s all in the mind. A positive, happy attitude will always translate into a positive, happy you! So, feel happy, and be happy!

Cheers,

Jed Kemsley